Joy on the Road

Monday, June 6
Our only driving agenda today is to get from our hotel airport to the car rental return at the airport.  A five minute drive.  (Does the chorus from Gilligan's Island come to mind?  "A three hour tour?!")
Actually we get to the airport without any major hiccups.  But how do we return the car?  After three circles of the airport parking lot, we find the entrance to the car return...but we had legitimate causes for delay.  First, they don't call car rental by the term we're used to.  They call it "car hire" and when we see signs for "car hire" we aren't sure if that's the right way to go or not.  Secondly, when we finally find our way to the right place, we see the sign with all the car rental logos lying on the ground.  It seems they're under construction in the parking lot, and so the best location for such a sign is where the rodents can read it.
But we have done it!  We've rented a car for ten days in Italy...the home of notoriously crazy drivers...and returned it without a crash!  Go John and Jacque!
But let me tell you the story of a faux pax that occurred yesterday which may have me on the car rental companies' high alert status.
On the well maintained, speedy highways here, called autostradas, there are many tolls (which explains their well maintained status).  You're driving along and you come to a toll booth where you grab a ticket.  After a bit, you'll find another toll booth where you pay for this stretch of road.  Sometimes the tolls are insignificant, but sometimes a considerable charge upwards of 20 euro.
When you approach the toll booths you have to make a quick assessment...you need to find the correct lane.  There are "Tele Pass" lanes (like our Fast Trak), "Card" lanes (where you use some kind of prepaid ticket, I assume), and "Cash" lanes (which is where we should go). Now, let me repeat...you need to find the right lane quickly!  And remember, we have four highly educated travelers in the car to help assess this travel decision.
So, as you might have guessed, on one occasion (seriously....just once!...well if you don't count the time we had to back out and move) we get in the wrong lane.  We are in serious traffic and cars are surrounding us.  Oh no!  We're in the Tele Pass lane and this is not a manned station.  Cars are on our butt!  What to do?!  John quickly assesses our situation and notices a "help" button.  He pushes it.  No one answers.  Just the pole goes up and we go through.  Well that was simple...or was it!?!
What's going to happen when we get to the next toll booth?  It will be manned, hopefully, and we can confess our sin and pay the piper.  Alas!  Next set of booths is also unmanned.  (As our luck would have it, the toll booth workers were on strike.) We are approaching the booths, and we are all thinking as fast as our travel weary brains can process...and seriously don't know what to do.  John makes a decision.  We're going through the Tele Pass lane.  Of course there are cameras recording the Tele Pass cars.  I'm convinced that we're going to jail...or at least we'll make the news..."Wanted...Americani Touristos!"
But from my reading, I remember that there are cameras all along these European roads.  When they record you speeding, or breaking some other law, they just send you your fine.  When in a rental car, they fine the rental company.  And the rental company charges the credit card they've kept on file.
Yikes!  It's my credit card on file!  I hope our kids don't mind that they've just lost their inheritance!